Guilt is the sucker of self-esteem, confidence and positivity. Guilt is like the little devil on your shoulder telling you that you have done something wrong. Sometimes that devil is so good that you listen to its ideas over and over. It’s hard to shake, it is hard to talk yourself out of it. But the important thing to note is, you can!
When I was younger I had ‘The Guilts’ weekly! The crazy thing was, it was over the smallest, minutest things. It might be something I had said to a boy, something I had done that upset someone else. You name it, I was embarrassed by it, ashamed of it and felt guilty about it. It didn’t help that I was always getting in trouble at home as well. I was a clumsy child, that was said to be “extremely careless”. However, I did care! I cared a lot about how others saw me and I always wanted to be liked and accepted. But the guilt just chewed me up inside, eroded my self-esteem and affected my confidence.
Yes, on occasion you may need to feel guilty, it helps us recognise mistakes and learn from them. So we need to appreciate this, think about how you can fix it (if something needs fixing) and move on. We must teach our children to do the same.
This can be easier said than done. Guilt creeps up and likes to spin the same story over and over again. This means that technically you’re having the same feelings over and over again. Not good, those cringe-worthy thoughts are not fun!
Guilt stems from ego… And it’s usually the least egotistical (seeming) people that feel more guilt. We are the people pleasers, worried about how people view us and care what people think. We search for outside acceptance, when we really need to look within and think about what is really important and what our values are.
Love helps us pass through this guilt and helps us understand that the ego is not real and neither is the guilt, so don’t play into it’s devilish hands. Put love into everything you do, when you make mistakes, learn from them and then let it pass, don’t hold onto it. As a parent or teacher, you have to role model this lesson. Talk through with your children about your mistakes, or something you feel guilty about and discuss how you are going to overcome it. Children need to learn and they learn from you, so teach them.
Put it love into everything you do!
Comment below about what you are going to put love into today.
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